mUmBaI mAsAlA:1

mUmBaI mAsAlA:1

NEW INDIAN NEWS LINGO

Somebody frightened us long long years ago, do not read The Hindu, it carries classical English. The English for the intellectuals. If u buy this paper with for 3 rupees, you have to buy a dictionary for Rs. 300 also, to understand its words and articles. When I have grown up, I started looking up for The Hindu again, Friends started asking, are u preparing for civils? No i replied, then they suggested Times of India, the Pratidin of India :)

And the journey begun. I explore the pages, have fun, go though the colorful pages that always inviting u to buy something. At the end of the jouney, I ask myself, what i have gained, nothing!
Yes Boss, so its CEO rightly said, they are not in news paper business, they are in an advertising business!

But, I have started learning new Indian Modern English Lingo from the newspapers. If u start reading english news papers like me, u also need to learn these, new indian english lingo!

When you see PC:I-T donot move your focus to the Personal Computer or Information Technology. Its simply FM, i.e. Finance Minister P. Chidambaram talking some stuff about the New Income Tax Provisions for the coming days.

When you see, RS Clears the Quota Bill; donot jump over and dance with Mega Music CDs and cassettes, RS here not standing for your ROYAL STAG, clearing your evening quota, Fulfiiling youur evening drinking desires. Its simply the Rajya Sabha Clearing the Quota Bill for SC/ST people for Reservations for Promotions in Govt. Jobs. Smile, make way for your low cast juniors to be your Boss & Be chilled!

When you see, NaMO, donot start praying. For the instance, you may feel the prayer word. You will find something different there, NaMO stands for Narendra Modi, Trying luck for a hat-trick  in Gandhi-nagar and a make a way to the National Team or dreaming to be the NDA captaincy!

"Sena" becomes a word to represent people that patronize vandalism, rather than it represents them who safeguards your country and peace. Army & Police is now searching for a better word for them in dictionaries now and of-course googling for that for sure! When they will find it, the media will scover it as a Breaking News one day!

For HC & RI, throw away your school days science words for Hydrocarbon & Reaction Indicators. When you have the news paper on your hand, keep it as ready vocabulary for High Court & Rigorous Imprisonment! The frequent headline makers of our country now.

TN is now become more popular for TIMES NOW than Tamilnadu.  MSD may come to defend it with his anna ruscale avatar! donot confuse man, its M S Dhoni standing in  Lungi! Donot take it for Manual Shut Down(MSD) if you are a mechanical engineer or so on.

When you seat with the word SIT, big people may not keep his cool. Because, it may be a Special Investigating Team against him, (to by-pass the slow and steady legal system). And may ensure a speedy trial within a limited time frame!

When you satnd with LCC, it may gift u Low Cost Carrier airline with a low & slim fit budget. When u see V with it, VLCC will remove your fat with a big fat budget!

When you are in the Sports page, donot think of the word SKIPPER as your old favorite brand of under garments! sometime keep the CAPTAIN for it, who sometimes rescues us from the ultimate shame in the cricket field!

RED do not stands alone for a colour in news today. They stands with Guns & Flags of Naxals, beware.

Asha is now left village, gave up her medical worker job of canvassing for polio drops. She left to suit herself in the modern technology world. She stands with Nokia Now.

Karbonn, u may think of a printing mistake for instance. But you will  find more surprises. Today it does not  come only in black, but coming in all colours. It has also been endorsed by a Mobile Company!

These way i am enriching my english! & will keep updating to enrich u.....

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